Merry Xmas And Happy New Year

The true spirit of Christmas is to share love among the love ones and everyone in this world. Not for only human, but for everything in this world. No matter who you are and no matter what you do, Christmas means joy and happiness. It’s more that what we’re can imagine. This time around, we forget about the hard times that we had and it allows us to think positively. Christmas holds what is valuable in the past and the future. Sometimes we can’t see it because we’re too busy to see what is in front of our eyes. We always heard someone wants us to look what is beyond it. Well, no doubt, at first, we thought it’s all crazy. We feel anger and sorrow deep inside our heart. Soon, we’re realized it is just clouds the judgment towards the problem that we have. As we look beyond, there’s always a solution. Then, we know we’re only the player. The luck, fate and destiny are created just to judge how much we’re understands and put our effort to it. What is lost is always been replace. Ironically, we don’t loose everything and we didn’t win everything. That’s the way God had install a plan for us. When you look back and think positively what you have done, you feel satisfy even the result is unsatisfied. Therefore, it allows us to make a better world in the future.

When I think about my life in the past, it’s nothing but hard times that I had. I’m always against what I had and never wanted to listen to anybody because my mind was cloud with hatred. It turns one day I can see and feel people around me hates me so much because I was nothing for them. I feel very much lost in this world. I feel my friends and my teachers are hates me. I feel people surrounding me just wanting to see me vanished from this world. However, there’s two people never giving up on me at the first place. I was glad it was my dad and my mum. Although, I never told them what’s happening to me few years ago, many years later, I’ve told them many shocking stories they never heard in their lives. What I learn from it was a forgiveness and walk to the future. I live with my parent’s guidance. I feel safe with them. All that matters, I can see beyond the world that my parent had promise me. It is just the same as God had promise us the heaven. There are five keys to success in this world – understand, love, patience, work hard and be smart. These are five positive values that never let us left and lost in the middle of nowhere. It holds the past, present and future for us. We’re creating all three world that we’re always wanted to live with. As I said at the first place, we’re the player.

Everytime Christmas is here, I’m always imagines about snowy landscape, the Christmas tree, presents, Santa Claus, angels and snowman. This year, one of my dreams had come true when finally, I get my own Christmas tree and therefore, I can decorate it and made a wish. I’m always believes in Santa Claus even after I was an adult. What can I say more? I say thank you to Santa Claus to give me this opportunity to see the Christmas tree and to God I would like to thank Him because always blessed me and my parent. Life is unpredictable but we can make a wish because sometimes it will be granted as promises. Therefore, just never loose this hope no matter what situation that you’re into. In this Christmas, I would like to wish everyone that knows me especially my parent, my friends, my ex-classmates, my teachers and all students of the generation in my school a very Merry Christmas and the Happy New Year. May God blessed you as always and find the joy, love and happiness in the true spirit of the Christmas.

Thank You My Teacher

It was a nice rainy Monday morning in year 1997 when I was looking outside the window and thinking about another day to pass by. Most of all, I’m hoping the day will pass as fast as it could, so I will leave this school immediately. The number one reason I would like to leave this school earlier because I feel I cannot stand the bullying things anymore and the teachers keeps on pressure me to pass every subjects. Well, my grades aren’t really good but surprisingly, my science is getting okay while the other subject is getting ill. I feel I was discriminated by some teachers but in the end I thought, it was only the voice in my head. However, I feel relieved when at least, I got out from here and show the real me. I know I was never a favorite since I was rebel girl in something that I thought I can’t get along with. I never think that I was too perfect. Yes, I did save my day as school’s champion but what did I get? Popularity? Not in the million years. When I share those school stories to my best friends in college years, they could never believe it was really happen to me. For the first time in my life, I saw the sun in the sky that shines through my life. Fortunately, after recent years when I was beginning to feel changes in my life, I knew there are still some of them stands besides me. It’s not only my best friends in the school but there’s still a teacher that stands beside me. I still worship her until now. Her name was Miss Susie Lau Chuo Chie and this is her story that I dedicated to her for this month of December and the end month of the year 2006.

As I heard her name for the first time in 1993, when I was form 1, I thought she was nice teacher and good looking too. Susie means lily in Hebrew. Every morning, she’s always given me a nice smile and nice looking. I never saw her in the bad mood. She’s unlike the other teacher that feels so pressure and all the sudden, some teachers will released it to students. I hate that kind of teacher. I never adore them. But I’m always hoping, someday Miss Lau will become our English or Science teacher. 3 years later, that wish had becoming true. Although, at first I thought it came too late but in the end as long as she’s here I think I can still save the rest. She was my role model and my wonder woman. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not really the kind of people that loves to praise other with no reason. But this making me wanted to praise her for a thousand times. The first day as Science teacher in my class, she had asked what we really like about Science. As for my answers, I like invention and the wonders of the world. The question is ‘why’. I know this is very annoying questions but this is how I’m doing my own research. I learn by myself and I’m also wanted someone to be more open to my thought. It seems like she’s really excited about my answer. Some of my classmates think that question is the most stupid question that they’d never heard in their life. That day I get the new unpleasure nickname which was fat stupid dreamer girl. The again, I thought I was heading to disaster because my questions is unlikely to become a trap for the rest of my life.

The second day of Science class, Miss Lau is came to our class. I can see she was pretty much excited to start a new day to teach us the first chapter. However, I feel very much low and I don’t want to ask her any questions anymore because I’m afraid the other students will whack my head again. Then again, she had asked me a questions and I tried my best to answer. That day we learn about human brain. I’m answering according to something in common sense. Something that everyone is understands, in other words, in universal language. Miss Lau never gives that freaky face every time she heard my answer. In fact, she’s explaining in Science and I was becoming a translator in universal language. One day, she’s coming to me and had asked about me. Since my grade is quite bad in Science during form 2, I was telling her the truth. Well, I confessed to her that I really like Science especially biology and physics. I did keep a dream to go for a Science class but in the end I was landed in Art class which I was thought it wiped out my future. Miss Lau beginning to tell me about it, something is comforting my mind. She tells me perhaps, my future is different than other students and who knows what God had installs for me. Every human had their own fate and destiny. Human thinks that they plan all the future but however, do not forget about God because he was the one who change the plan and plan something else for human. I feel part of her answers was quite religious and some is into a universal brilliant idea. That night, when I was alone sitting next to my bed and looking outside the window, I was thinking about what did Miss Lau told me earlier. Human plan and God’s plan, that is something new that I’ve ever heard in my life.

After thinking about it, I finally got what she meant by those. No matter what I plan for my future but God still the one who alter my fate and destiny. She’s right. Perhaps, I can still in Science class in the future. Not in this school but somewhere which I didn’t know where I will be gone. I begin to like the subject that I’ve learned especially Science. She would teach Science with own method. She’s open in any question. Got one time, when David asked her about sex education, she’s really okay with it. Sex education hasn’t taught widely in my school that time but she’s already taken a big step to teach us about it. The sex topic is quite subjective but she’s guide us for the safe one. She would go further until the alternate relationship. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s all about gay and lesbian. Everybody talks about it and I’m feels awkward about it. For one thing, at least, I know what that relationship that everybody has talking about. We’d gone into marriage topic. She had asked us what kind of woman or guy that we wanted to marry. As for myself, I confessed to her that I fancy Japanese guy. They look decent and I like the way they bow down to see and meet people. I don’t care if they loose in battle in WWII but their face as white as soft cotton which making them looks handsome. Everybody had laughed at me. They bully me again but luckily, Miss Lau came and rescued me. She’s even told the class, if I get marry the Japanese guy, our children may be white as soft cotton. Who knows for sure? That’s when the chapter about gene coming up.

Then, I show interest in English and perhaps, that’s the reason, Miss Lau asked me to enter English club. She even asked me to write a short story and enters a competition. I did win something and hey, it’s really a nice feeling that I’ve ever had. My Science and English grades is beginning to rise. I’m about to catch up with the other students in my class. Although, Miss Lau is not my English teacher, I’m still asking her advice to teach me that second national language. I have a feeling that someday, I will be ended in something more than I thought it’s true. The illusion is very real until I keep it for the rest of two years that I’ve spend with Miss Lau. Miss Lau inspires me a lot. She’s not only inspires me in Science but she’s also inspires me in life. Great to have this kind of teacher and I won’t let her down. However, in the late April of rainy Monday morning 1997, I received a bad news. Miss Lau is going to stop teaching. Suddenly, I feel I was waking up from this fantasy. I feel very low for the rest of my day. While the other students bother asking why she’s stop teaching, I’d rather stay calm and quiet and listens to her answer. She told the class that she’s wanted to pursue her education into Master and continues her studies at University Malaya. She will be taking a holiday for a year and perhaps, after that she would come back to Sibu. We were very sad that day when she’d decided to stop teaching us Biology subject. “I’m going to miss that teacher”, told Sibat. I’m certainly understands his mind.

Before she left the school, we’d organize her farewell party. In her message to us, she’s always wanted us to become successful person and pursue the dreams what we have in mind. After her speech, the party was begun. On the next week, she left the school and went to University Malaya to continue her studies. Since she was gone, madam Leong was taken over her place. Madam Leong is also like Miss Lau. She’s never ever released her tension to other teacher. But I guess Miss Lau is better than her because I’ve known Miss Lau for a long time. That doesn’t mean I left Madam Leong. Although, some of my classmates hated her because her husband is our strange principle but doesn’t mean she was part of the conspiracy. It was gone after they’re getting closer to her, upclose and personal. Hmm… just like the title of the movie – Upclose And Personal, starring Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert Redford. Nah… that’s different story! I’m not telling about the love story with tragic ending here but somehow, when we get close to it, perhaps, part of it is just the same. It’s just a different plot! It’s been 6 months, she’d left us. That’s when our SPM forecast exam had been held. My Science seems dropped drastically. I was like very surprise on my result. What’s happening to me? I thought. Where are the guardian angels when I needed them? Where is my savior of the soul? I went back home and thinking about the Science grade that I got. It’s very upsetting! After all, I am really a loser and what I’ve got for all these years was an illusion. I can’t ever be like someone else. That’s what I thought for the first time I receive the grades.

I feel lazy coming to school on the next day. But I’m always promise to myself, never ever skipped school. No matter how it takes and no matter how it breaks. I’m doing this since I was young. By that time, my energy level was really on the red color. I don’t have a mood to study and I even throw my books away at home. However, that day wasn’t an ordinary day. Suddenly, someone had coming to our class. When, she’s came, we were like was very shock! There’s standing a cute teacher with white shirt and deep brown colored skirt with curly hair. “Miss Lau!” shouted Judy. Everybody was so excited. I’m not dreaming, am I? I thought. No, I am not. Then, she’s quickly asking what’s happening to all of us. We’re just told her that our Science grade had dropped. However, she’d told us that it was a forecast and not the real exam. Usually, the forecast exam is very hard than the real exam. Therefore, she had asked us not to worry much. But still the Science subject grades are even better than others. She was very proud with us and she wishes the best on us. I had asked Miss Lau to writes something to me. Before she’d left us again, I’ve asked Miss Lau to writes for me something. I’ve told her, I just wanted someone to lift me up and lifting my soul. She had fulfilled my request, just like fairy godmother in the fairy tale story. I wish her luck before she’d gone and someday, I will fulfilled her dreams on me too. She was very happy. She’d told me that I was great student but it’s just that I am worry too much on myself. However, she’s appreciates what I’ve done and always being there with me in spirit.

A month of the hectic exam is coming. Everybody was going to the exam paper’s war. I could never worry again because I know somehow Miss Lau had told me so. That day, I had asked her to write something to boost up my energy level. Therefore, she’d write to me and say something that nice to me. Even if it’s all lies but I know Miss Lau doing it just because I request her and that is never lie. She told me that somehow one day I could make it to the top if I’m seeks for it. It’s just like finding a pearl in the ocean deep. For hundred times, she’d told me that I have a better future because I ain’t just like other students that depending other people. That makes people surrounded just misunderstood about me. I’m always one step ahead from them just like stepping into time machine and coming back from the world of future. Then again, she’d told me that my English is good that other students that she’d found in this school. Perhaps, that’s the reason I’ve got good grades in this subject even I’m not too worshiping Puan Mahani and Madam Amelia. With her blessed, I could make it. At her last words, she’s always wanted me to continue my study and pursue these impossible dreams. From that moment, I feel my energy level is back to the green and I begin the power inside it. Hmm… sounds like the movie X-Men in the house. Yea, I just wanted to be like Rogue. She’s weird and misunderstood but she’s nice and pretty too. I’m not like that. Just being me, being someone like me. No matter how it takes during on the incident that had hitting us on Science subject exams, I feel so lucky. I don’t have to worry because even if I can’t get myself to good college and university, I still can catch up somehow.

3 months later, I’m coming back to see my SPM result. Damn, I am a big mouth, I thought! My Science and English are among the best grades that I’ve ever receives in my life. That’s mean I have a big mission to do. I did apply to go to University Malaya, but somehow it was rejected. 3 months later, after I had continued my study in the private college, I received a letter from University Malaya that I was accepted. However, whose need that anyway? I already know my life is here and I can see the future now. It wasn’t an illusion at all but it was time to enjoy the victory. All the things that I’ve done in the college and even in the university were dedicated to her. I am still pursues my study in university in distance learning. The one that most coincident was learning English wasn’t hard for me because I don’t need to scratch from the bottom. That’s mean, I don’t have to struggle to learn those grammars again. It’s just that I need to polish it over and over again. If I ever meet her again and I’ll show her what I’ve got and most of all, I’m still not taking back the ideal guy that I wanted to marry. Of course, it was a Japanese guy. Even if I couldn’t make it, I would like to add some, I think I like the Caucasians too. They’re okay to me. As long as they’re just being what I want in my life. To Miss Lau, I wish you all the best in your life and most of all I hope you found your dreams too. You’re my inspiring and the best teacher that I’ve ever had in my life.